alison_m12

The Nuts hated Baseball! The whole Baseball season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be their heads weren't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that their shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that their hearts were two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, their hearts or their shoes,
They spent the off season, hiring Whos,
Staring over from Wheeling with a sour, Nutting frown
At the warm lighted windows in what is Steeler town.
They knew every fan who loves baseball lives with hope
They could sell enough tickets to the suckers, those dopes.

"Sell them the story that the new guys are workers
We replaced the old guard, those incompetant porkers!
The coaches we hired, they don't know the names
Just give them a chance! Buy tickets to our games!"
Then he asked for the budget, and his trusty red pen
And slashed the teams payroll again and again!

Spring training is less than three months away
There's time to dump salaries and reduce what they pay
They've done it before and paid down the debt
They'll do it again. How much you wanna bet?
Revenue sharing and such will cover their butts
They're successful at this, Hey! They're The Nuts.

My dad wrote this and posted it on another website, and I asked him if I could post it on here! Funny, huh? Please post comments!